This week on Winning In Life, Angus Pryor the #1 Google-ranked dental marketer in Australia will be sharing with you 2 simple steps for a sustainable partnership.
Two simple steps for a great long term partnership. Now look, I’m going to cover a bit of a different topic today because the truth is I’ve moved recently to be closer to my ageing parents and family is super important. But earlier this month, previous month, believe it or not, I had my 30 year wedding anniversary and somebody asked me, well, kind of what have you learned, because let’s face it, the divorce rate i think is around 50%.
And you know, whether you get married or it’s a partner or whatever, you know, as humans, we’re not brilliant at staying together, are we? Some people are very good at it, and some people not so. So here’s two things that I’ve learned. I heard a guy, a speaker, also a pastor, a guy called Andy Stanley, and he said something very interesting.
He said, to fall in love requires a pulse. But to stay in love, his suggestion was that you make love a verb. You see, when you start a relationship, I mean, the kind of love part is really mainly a feeling, you know, like, it’s, you feel in love with a person, you can’t wait to spend more time with them. And that part’s easy.
But the part that allows you to get a sustainable relationship is that idea of making love a verb, which is a doing thing. And interestingly, his view is supported by psychologists and a bunch of others that talks about the fact that what we do, actually influences how we feel. In fact, Tony Robbins talks about the fact that a motion has a physiology to an end.
So the mere act of doing and being involved in being loving actually makes you feel more loving. Whereas we feel like, well, I’ll do it if I feel loving, but it’s actually the reverse. So that’s the first thing make love a verb.
And the second thing is a book that I read, that is a game changer, at least it has been in my marriage with my wife. And it’s called the five love languages. And the concept is that for each of us how we feel we’re being loved is different ways. And so the five love languages that they have is acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, and time spent together. And the thing is that you can as a partner think that you’re being loving to your partner.
But the risk is that the way you’re showing it to them is not the way that they feel love. So, as it turns out, mine is time spent together and physical touch. And for my wife, it’s it’s gifts, and acts of service and so if I felt I wanted to be loving to her that I’m going to spend time with her. But that doesn’t mean she feels that she’s being loved.
And I can tell you, having that insight is really helpful. Because then once you know what it is, then you can sort of look up, you know what, what those things mean. And that can make a huge difference. And you know, it’s fair to say we’ve had our challenges over 30 years but that’s definitely one thing that’s helped. So I hope you find that helpful. Two simple tips to have a happy long partnership marriage.